Oyvind - our blogger in Japan -

I just came back from a two week vacation in Norway with the worst sashimi cravings ever experienced, and due to the fact that going home also means trying to convince friends and family having another misconception about the country I live in, that they are dead wrong, I don’t feel as recharged as I thought I would be.

Here are 30 things about Japan not rooted in reality people I’ve met like to state as facts:

1. ”Using chopsticks is outdated and silly...”
- Actually, cold steel utensils often ruin the taste of many delicate foods, and wooden chopsticks are often even easier to use. Try them on salad once and be enlightened.

2. ”The infamous washlet is a scary contraption...”
- The scary thing about it is that when you leave Japan, you are leaving it too. Normal use usually results in total addiction within two weeks.

3. ”Japanese trains are always packed to the roof...”
- Not necessarily. There is usually, for reasons unknown, a lot of space around the gaijin.

4. ”Raw fish and meat is nasty...”
- Some fish and meat is actually best raw, and the Japanese quality makes this go for very much.
5. ”Japanese have no empathy...”
- Just meeting the 3.11 disaster rescue volunteers would make even Mother Theresa feel inferior.

6. ”You will become Charisma Man as soon as you arrive in Japan...”
- Fashion and style is a serious business here, and if you weren’t a rock star at home, chances are you won’t be in Japan either.

7. ”You shouldn’t be overly polite...”
- This isn’t humanly possible. Ever.

8. ”The facilities aren’t sanitary...”
- Three different pairs of shoes and slippers to go to the toilet. I rest my case.

9. ”I can’t survive two weeks on raw fish, seaweed and rice...”
- A heaven on earth for food lovers and with over 160.000 restaurants only in Tokyo, there isn’t anything you can’t get. Not anything.

10. ”Japan is a small country...”
- Located next to Russia and China it might seem like it. If Japan was in Europe, it would be one of the biggest countries, even bigger than Germany and Norway.

11. ”I will never try natto...”
- Like you never wanted to try coffee you mean? Embrace natto, and live 10 years longer.

12. ”The country is ravaged by deadly radiation...”
- There is more radiation in rural England.

13. ”Tsunami is an English word...”
- There are probably enough Japanese words in English to make an own language.

14. ”There are no animals in Tokyo...”
- There are lots besides the cockroaches and pigeons too, but they might be hard to spot since they usually are dressed as little people or located in handbags. If you don’t own one, you can even rent e.g. cats and dogs to pet or walk in your lunch hour.

15. ”Japan is too expensive...”
This is partly correct due to the very high standard of living, but it is totally possible to get all of ones necessities from the high quality 100 yen (1 USD) shop turning it in to one of the cheapest places on the planet.

16. ”It’s impossible to learn perfect Japanese...”
- Be comforted by the thought that this also goes for the Japanese, and they get by fine.

17. ”There are foods I should avoid trying...”
- What your brain tries to warn you about, your mouth will thank you for later. …even if it stares at you.

18. ”Japan isn’t famous for its nature...”
- 374,744 km² of tropical forests, 200 volcanoes, 32.000 rivers and streams, beaches, snow clad mountains, all packed into four distinct seasons – the nature of this country needs to be experienced, not discussed.

19. ”The cities of Japan are huge, dark and dirty...”
- These cities are among the quietest and cleanest in the world. Oh, and beware of hybrid cars when crossing the street.

20. ”It’s impossible to become Japanese...”
- Some foreigners are more Japanese than the natives.

21. ”Green tea doesn’t belong in ice cream...”
- Neither did strawberry, but it sure as hell does now.

22. ”Sumo is a cute sport...”
- It is a brutal, often bloody, and dead serious.

23. ”You need to behave like Japanese, all the time...”
- Don’t worry about the outdated rules for acceptable behavior, as long as you behave, all the stupid and embarrassing things you might do will be considered cute by the locals and thus be forgiven.

24. ”Japanese at home don’t behave like they do abroad...”
- There isn’t an OFF switch to being Japanese, so if you still will see them moving around in large amusing groups? Yes.

25.”Simple body language is probably the same in Japan as anywhere else...”
- This misunderstanding can get you into various troubles.

26. ”The Tokyo subway/train system is an unforgiving place...”
- Grandmothers of all genders and ages would be thrilled by the simplicity and smoothness of this system.

27. ”Japanese children are the most timid and gentle in the world...”
- According to a few teacher friends of mine, it isn’t easy to get through the day with 8 or 9 of them hanging from ones arms and the necktie. Sure they look cute with their yellow hats, but elementary school children can be vicious and supposedly wear school uniforms to avoid bullying. Approach with caution.

28. ”Slurping is rude...”
- Slurping means you are enjoying the food. So slurp away! Your mother in law isn’t watching.

29. “Picking your nose and spitting in public will give a hefty fine...”
Why picking is socially accepted, I don’t know. I mean, nobody ever seems to even notice when someone is arm deep in a nostril. The spitting though I am not sure about anymore, it is after all a very clean country.

30. ”There isn’t anything to photograph...”
- The country is photographer’s wet dream incarnate.